The Fake Girlfriend Rules Read online

  Right now, her eyes are glassed over, and I can tell her body is a whirling tsunami of nerves. If I know her like I think I do, her mind is running through every single scenario that she could possibly encounter.

  Lyllian is a calculated person. She doesn't jump into anything feet first. It took me almost an entire summer one year to get her to jump off Zeke's Bridge. It had been blocked off by the town, and the cops would drive by routinely to make sure no kids were there.

  She was so afraid of getting into trouble that she would never do it. And then finally, after bugging her enough, she gave in. Before then I had never seen her smile so big. I had never seen her really let go, and just enjoy herself without worrying.

  It's one risk she never regretted taking. The fact I gave her that makes me happy. I gave her that joy and excitement. It's a day I'll always keep with me, one that makes me smile every time I think about it.

  I know I shouldn't flirt with her, or make dirty jokes, but sometimes I can't help it. Her reactions are the best. I watch her, enjoying the way she's touching her neck. It’s sexy as hell. I like making her blush and making her pulse speed up. It's a thrill to watch her body react to me.

  The way her eyes enlarge, or her lips pout. The way her neck bobs as she swallows when she's nervous. The way her lips part softly when she exhales an audible sigh. Her chest as she inhales a sharp breath. All of it, all the subtle things she probably doesn't even realize she's doing, are sexy as fuck.

  Call me a tease, and I'll agree. I tease her for selfish reasons. So I can watch.

  But I know how she looks at me, and it's not like that. There are no romantic feelings between us, despite the borderline flirting I might do. And I'm okay with that.

  I have to be. I don't have a choice.

  “All right, it's your loss. Don't complain to me later that your feet are sore. Let's head out.” I hold the door open for her as she grabs her purse, wrapping it over her shoulder.

  Lyllian walks by me, the scent of her perfume swirling past me and luring me in. I'm stunned for a moment as I take a deep breath. She smells like wildflowers and honey. Sweet and luscious, and so very, very fucking lickable.

  Calm yourself. You don't stand a chance.

  This is what the friend zone looks like.

  My shoulder bumps hers as we walk down the sidewalk. She looks up at me and smiles, sending my heart into a panic. That smile, that smile drives me fucking crazy. I know I shouldn't enjoy it as much as I do, but I can't help it.

  “I'm sorry,” she says, taking a slight step away to put a little more distance between us.

  “No, it's fine. I know you have two left feet, you always have.”

  “Hey,” she says, giving me an elbow to the ribs. “Like you have room to talk. I remember watching you dance at our senior prom. I'm pretty sure that's the reason Darla Hampton left you there and broke up with you.”

  I smirk. It's cute that she remembers little things like this. “Is that why? I thought it was because I like pineapple on my pizza. I guess I read that all wrong.”

  Lyllian giggles as she pokes me in the ribs. “That really is disgusting, pineapple doesn't belong on pizza.”

  “Don't knock it till you try it.”

  “I've tried it. You made me once. Remember? We were at that pizza place that used to be up on Center Street. . .” She closes her eyes, and rolls her hand in the air. “What the hell was it called?”

  “Townhouse Pizza.”

  “Yes!” she yells, slapping my arm. “That's right, Townhouse Pizza.”

  I can't take my eyes off her. The way her eyes light up when she gets excited, or is having a really good time, makes my insides knot up. It's a feeling I'm used to. I've gotten good at ignoring it over the years and pretending it doesn't exist.

  I'll never act on these feelings because I'd rather have her in my life than not have her in it at all. So, if being friends is what keeps her around, I'll take it.

  She's made it pretty clear anyway, she doesn't see me as anything other than a friend. No matter how much desire I sometimes feel inside, no matter how sexy she looks in her small shorts and tight shirt when she's going to bed, or the way she bites her bottom lip when she's thinking, I have to suppress whatever feelings come up.

  “So, what exactly do you need for this dinner thing?” she asks.

  “I don't know, a nice shirt and dress pants? A suit maybe? I haven't a damn clue what would be the right thing. It's at Capriccio's, so something nice.”

  “I think a suit is the right way to go. What about this place?” Lyl stops outside of Custom Gents and points. “They have some nice suits in here.”

  “Sure, let's go check it out.”

  “Will I get a fashion show?” she asks, wagging her brows and biting her bottom lip. “Because I expect dinner and a show tonight.”

  I really wish I could shut off my brain sometimes. The second she bites her lip I want to kiss her. But I don't. I swallow hard instead, and keep my lips to myself.

  “If you're lucky,” I answer, reaching out and opening the door. I place my hand on the small of her back and guide her inside. My fingers linger there, barely touching her, but enough for me to feel the heat of her skin.

  “Oh, look at this one,” she says, causing me to rip my hand away from her. She darts to a black suit hanging on the rack, and takes the sleeve with her fingers. “This would look nice on you.”

  I take a few deep breaths, calming my dick down. Why does my best friend have to be a smoking hot girl? Because life isn't fair, dumb ass, that's why.

  “Maybe.” Looking away, I force my eyes around the store, and spot a suit against the back wall. “What about this one?” I ask, picking up a dark green suit with a light yellow lining. “It's pretty sharp, don't you think?”

  Her eyes widen. She's looking at me like I've lost my mind. “You're not serious,” she says, sticking out her tongue. “Yuck. No. Definitely not.”

  “What's wrong with it? Green is my color. It shows off my assets.”

  Lyl giggles as her jaw crooks to the side. “Yeah, if your assets include a seventies lounge singer.”

  “Oh, come on, it's not that bad.” I examine the suit again.

  “See, this is why you need me.” She grins as she tilts her head and bats her long lashes. “Without me you'd walk out the door looking like a five-year-old whose parents let them dress themselves.”

  I look myself up and down. “I look pretty good right now.”

  “I bought you that shirt for your birthday last year.”

  My eyes drop back to my chest, and I grin. “Yes, you did.” I look back up at her, and she's laughing. “Laugh it up, go on.”

  “I am.” She pulls the black suit off the rack, and a second one from another rack, and walks them over. “Here, try both of these on.”

  I take the green one and fold it over my arm. “Fine, I'll try your picks, but I'm trying this one, too. We'll see whose looks the best.”

  “All right, I could use a good laugh.” She smiles as her eyes fall on mine. Her bold brown eyes sparkle with flakes of gold and amber.

  Her eyes are gorgeous. Almond shaped with long dark lashes that hood her eyes like canopies. She has a cute little nose, and a few freckles that run right across the apples of her cheeks.

  The one thing that I've always loved about her eyes is that when she looks at me, she's actually with me. She listens, she pays attention, and she's never made me feel stupid or less of a man for making a bad decision.

  And I've made plenty of mistakes over the years. I'm human. I'm not meant to be perfect. We're all meant to make mistakes. Some more than others. But not once has she let one of my mistakes come between us.

  “We'll see,” I say, ripping my eyes off hers before I do something stupid like kiss her.

  Because I could. I could kiss her if I didn't care what might happen after. If I didn't care about her or our friendship, I'd have done it years ago. But I do care. I care enough to respect our friendship bound
aries.

  The salesman comes out and offers a few more to choose from, and takes me into the dressing room. I try the black one on first. It does look really fucking good as I smooth the front of the jacket and snap the collar in place.

  “Let's go see what your girlfriend thinks,” the man says.

  “Oh no, she's my friend, not my girlfriend.”

  He gives me a smug grin and arches a single eyebrow. “Friend. . . right.” He nods his head as he pulls back the curtain.

  I walk back out, holding my arms out. “Well?”

  “I love it. I picked a great one. You don't even need to try the others, just get that one.”

  “Yeah, don't get too ahead of yourself, we still have more, and my pick too.”

  I try on the others, then finally get to the suit I chose. I put on the dark green suit and look at myself in the mirror. It doesn't look as good as I thought it would.

  Own it, I think to myself as I stroll back out, trying to make myself look bigger than life.

  “I think this is the suit,” I say, taking a sharp spin and flaring the jacket out wide. “I mean, look at me. I look like a damn god.”

  Lyllian starts laughing hysterically, grabbing her stomach and dropping to her knees in the middle of the store. “I can't, I can't take it, please take it off.” She's laughing so hard she can barely breathe, and tearing up at the corner of her eyes.

  “Why? Do I look so sexy you can hardly contain yourself?” I strut toward her like a rooster flaunting for a group of chickens. I bob my head and elongate my legs, giving her a little shake of my ass. “You want me right now, don't you? I bet you're ready to jump my bones.”

  Lyllian is wiping her eyes and taking big gulps of air as she says, “Stop, my chest hurts I'm laughing so hard. You have to take it off.”

  “So, you're saying this is the one I should take home?” I grin smugly, and nod. “I think you're right. This is definitely it.”

  “No,” she says, shaking her head fast. “Not that one, definitely not that one.”

  “Okay, I guess I'll go with your pick. I'll save this for the day I get married.”

  “I'm sure your future wife will absolutely love you in a puke green suit.”

  “You're just jealous you can't pull off this color.” I throw my arms out and tug at the cuffs of my sleeves as I walk back and change. I pay for the black suit, hanging it over my shoulder as we head out of the store.

  “So, now what?” she asks.

  “Dinner?”

  “I think dinner sounds really good right now.”

  “How do hot wieners and beer sound?”

  “Greasy and delicious,” she answers. “I could go for one all the way.”

  “I bet you could,” I say playfully.

  She slaps my arm and huffs loudly. “You're terrible.”

  “I know, I can't help it. I'm excited today. You're going to be starting a new job, I've got a big project we're trying to land. Things are good, we should enjoy ourselves.”

  “You know what, I think you're right.”

  “I am right.” I grin at her and wink.

  Lyllian shakes her head, and looks down at the ground as we walk, but she's smiling, that little smile I sometimes find myself going out of my way to see.

  I get this feeling of satisfaction when I make her smile. As if I did something good for her. I made her happy, and that means something to me.

  We get to the restaurant and take a booth in the back. She slides in one side, and I slide in across from her. The waitress comes up and we already know what we want. She orders her food and a beer, I order almost the same thing, except I get my fries with vinegar.

  Her phone pings in her purse and she pulls it out. “Oh, I got an email from Harrison and Harrison.”

  “That's the law firm that's hiring you, right?”

  “Yeah, I hope this is my start date. I mean, I had my final interview last week, and Mr. Brennan was going to send over a reference letter today or tomorrow.”

  “And you didn't blow up over the muffins and call him a dick, did you?”

  “No, even though I wanted to.”

  “That's good then, you didn't give him any fuel to throw you under the bus. Open it up, see what they have to say.”

  She bares her teeth and sucks in a deep breath. “Okay, here we go.” Lyllian slides her finger over the screen. The light glows against her face, and I can see her eyes as they move down the page reading the email.

  “What does it say, Lyl?” She's quiet, just blankly staring at her phone. “Well? When do they want you to start?”

  She sighs, her expression turning dull. The color drains from her face and her eyes lose all their luster. “They don't,” she says, dropping her phone on the table and pushing it away.

  “Wait, what? What do you mean they don't?”

  “They're not hiring me. They decided to go with a different applicant, someone who's a better fit for the position. Here, you can read it yourself.” Lyl pushes the phone closer to me.

  I pick it up and read the email. My heart sinks for her. As I look up at her, she's hanging her head between her arms, pushing the pads of her fingers against her temples. Her shoulders roll forward, and it looks like she wants to cry.

  “I'm sorry, Lyl, but don't let this get you down, it's not the end of the world.”

  “What the hell am I going to do now?” There's panic in her voice as she scrapes her nails through her hair, pulling it tight against her scalp. “I can't go back to Mr. Brennan, he already replaced me. I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have quit until I knew for sure. What the hell was I thinking? What the fuck am I going to do?” She lets out a long groan as her eyes still on mine. Tears bubble up over the edges, threatening to pop if she blinks.

  “Lyl, don't worry, everything is going to be fine.”

  I hate seeing her like this. It crushes me inside when she's sad.

  She lets her hands fall like stone to the table. “No it's not, Doug, I'm out of a damn job, that's not fine, that's not even close to being fine.”

  I reach out and curl my fingers around her hand. “I promise you, everything is going to be fine. You'll find a new job, and I bet you're going to love it. Don't let this get you down, it's their loss, not yours.”

  Her eyes drift back and forth over mine. I want her to know that I'll never let anything bad happen to her. It doesn't matter if she has no money, I'll always make sure she has everything she needs. That's what best friends do. I'm here for her. I'll always be here for her.

  I squeeze her hand, and she gives me a faint smile. “I know you're trying to make me feel better, and I know you're right, I'll find another job. I just hate feeling like I lost control of my life. I don't like not knowing what's going to happen next.”

  “I know you don't, but you know we're a team. I'm going to take care of everything until you find a job. I don't want you to worry about the bills, or food, or anything else. I'm here, Lyl.”

  Her smile broadens as her eyes stay static. This time her smile is more natural, and less forced. “Thanks, Doug, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.” She turns her hand so she's holding mine too.

  A spark of electricity zips up my hand and through my arm. Hot tendrils wrap around my chest, making my heart stop for a single beat. She swallows hard as we stare at each other, hand in hand, fingers touching, and caressing lightly.

  The waitress brings us our drinks and food, snapping the moment in half like a stick. She pulls her hand away, jerking her eyes free as she clears her throat. “Thank you,” she says to the waitress.

  Lyllian stares at her plate but doesn't touch it. Her hands are wrapped around the beer bottle, thumbs moving up and down, smearing the condensation.

  “You going to eat that?” I ask.

  “I kind of lost my appetite.”

  “That's fine, we can just have her wrap it up so you can take it home.” My phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out to see who it is. “Oh, it's Jim. I'll call him b
ack later.”

  “No, it's fine, take it. See what he wants.”

  “Are you sure?” She nods, so I hit the green button. “Hey, Jim, what's going on?”

  “Hey, Doug, sorry to bother you so late,” he says.

  “No, it's fine. What's up?”

  “Well, I forgot to tell you something about dinner tomorrow night with Mrs. Gadory.”

  “It better not be that it's a costume party, because I just went shopping for a new suit.”

  “No, nothing like that. Actually, the thing is, you need a plus one. She's bringing her husband, so I'm bringing Meg. You're going to need a date.”

  “I don't understand. Why do I need a date? What difference does it make? I'm pretty charismatic on my own.”

  “As much as that's the truth, you need a date so you won't be the third wheel. And it'll look good. Mrs. Gadory is a romance fanatic, it's what all her movies are about. She lives for romance and writes all her scripts around it. You can't show up stag, Doug, you just can't.”

  “What if—”

  “No what ifs, you need to make it happen. We need this contract, it's the most important contract to come our way, and it'll open so many doors for us. Do not come alone. Come alone and consider yourself unemployed. Are we clear?”

  Son of a bitch. A date? A damn date just to make a good impression. This is insane.

  “Got it,” I say. If Jim wants me to bring a date because he thinks it will give us better odds of landing this job, then I'll just have to find one.

  “And not some stripper, Doug. Make it look real, someone who’s girlfriend material.” Jim hangs up without saying goodbye, and I'm left in my own state of panic.

  Where the hell am I going to find someone last minute like this?

  It hits me. I know just the person who will do me this favor. Someone I can count on. Someone who will do anything for me, all I have to do is ask.

  I look up at Lyl and give her a sly smile.

  “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks, her brows arching high.

  “Lyllian, will you be my girlfriend?”

  3

  Lyllian